Vroom

11/30/2012

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Thank you Tatiana your comment hit like a blaze. hat muscular Russian support, almost like an overboard Volga tune.

Keep it up it hummed.

Betty and Elizabeth brought us chicken soup and Ken had baked the bread A
Word of advice rm Carol, break up the largel kernels. They can play havoc with your throat
 
There I went off with my formula and promptly overlooked the inclusion of key ingredients.
As part of the neural tests and testing your short term memory the Dr. provides you with three short words. That is easy, I thought, to myself. No way, I can miss! Come on, cars, red and hope!

Well guess again, hope just seemed to elude me as hard as I tried. Even after the Dr. let it slip out and Carol tried to help out. Is that what happened with our prayers we forget to hope for an answer or expect the good tidings without hope attached.
Then I was noticing another big boo boo! I had left out faith! Whoa, what was happening to my keep it simple stupid formula. Probably, by now some of you discovered additional omissions, but let us dwell a moment on Faith. This is a biggie for me. What is the litmus tests for knowing that your children have aquired faith? When does a parent know for sure? For me the moment came when my own daughter Margaret so deftly and matter of factly commented on the subject a couple days ago on this blog. It blew me away for sure! Or did I interpret that wrong? Betty seems to think likewise.
To be continued...changes are coming, stay tuned!
 
Alright, your experts on "keeping you in my prayers have provided your input for me to try to comprehend. If, I put my blue devil skull cap on, here is what this simpleton gets.

You get serious curve ball thrown at you and you try handle it as a best as you could, but you are being overwhelmed badly. Family and friends jump in with huge offers of prayer for you to straighten out the pitch.
The intercessions are reaching this higher, omnipotent power, flooding you with instant gratitude toward your friends and family and cleanse you with a spirit never known before.

Works for me!

I can buy that!
 
I am not your average theologan nor do I want to be one. I am just a simple soul being wracked by this great power presently that I cannot explain in the first place to begin with. But let us get back to the main title for a moment. It is not my intention to make anyone uncomfortable when I introduce a religious term onto the blog, yet prayers for my well being were offered throughout my ordeal. It seems that my soul was hungering for these offerings and your assurances to keep me in your prayers. Unexplainable things have happen to me over the past few days and it feels that these great rivers of energy have formed a confluence near me, shaking me to the core.
She was your typical slightly built Latina woman. She was the little housemaid at the University Inn when we checked in. She had glanced at me briefly and taken in all my medical baggage which I need for my daily dialysis needs. Perhaps, she was aware that it would mean extra work in the form of additional thrash. Then she looked at me a bit more closely and in a short exclaimed latin accented comment she said "Ducks, bueno". It took me a moment to translate, that she meant, she referred to Duke's medical facility. She went on in Spanish to let me know that she had had surgery in connection of her pregnancy. While, I have travelled to Mexico frequently, I am not accomplished. Why did I understand her so clearly?

Then she looked at me again and said malo, which I had no quarrel with. My face as the result of the steroids has turned into the classic moon face and there was no denying the truth. She had come closer and had taken my hands and folded them for me and proceeded to pray for me. Why?

The ICU ward was rocking with laughter after my operation as the attending staff was trying to bet me back from wherever the had me deposited. It seems that Ken had discovered that I was German and he urged me to oerform my best Arnold Schwarzenegger routinte. I guessed that he must have really liked the part about "puffing you up! as I had put it, because Charlie his partner had never seen him so excited. Over a patient coming out of recovery. They both said that I had made their top 5 list, whatever that means. Then they went on to let them "what do you see? Oh, dear Lord I said to myself, I can't say that. So I fibbed and told them that I saw purple candles. They were once again rocking with laughter.

While in ICU I was joined by my sister who had travelled with Chuck to Durham to be close to me.
Then a layminister appeared and asked if he could pray with us and offered us communion right there among the medical equipment?

Why at this moment? My sister and I had drifted apart over really non-issues over the years and here we were side by side taking in the holy host in a monumental way. Why? The words, that hammered into my brain, were not different from prior communions had celebrated. "Take this body".

Well, why did I find out that subsequently to that, my tumor the worst of its kind was successfully and no remaining traces.

If you have the answer let me know. I am overflowing in these blessings here.


Why?
We are oreparing to break camp here later on and will try to be back in Athens by sundown. Our good friends the Katsiba's from Charleston have been wonderful. I now even have Duke blue devil skull cap. They walked miles to buy me one. It will be good to be home. I have already a couple of appointments scheduled for me starting Monday, howeverI am also looking forward to some visits with you. Ed and Marianne we still need toast your brand new Marriage. How was your honey moon.

As for me, have been granted a new lease on life. Yes, I have been on an emotionsl roller coaster and I have been granted this river of personal sea changes

Your daily support has uplifted meto an extent, that I have not thought possible.

Keeping you in my prayers!

Love,

Peter
 
When Hillary attempted to contact me this afternoon in my motel room, she had to try very hard to pull me in from another planet.

I thought, I had updated my blog and physically I was spent and had crashed!

The day was spent with the oncology team, who administered neural based tests as well as reviewed my case. The news, that I expected, included the fact that the tumor they removed would be one listed in the bad categories and it was. Glioblastoma is the name and it was rated at grade 4, the worst!

Here comes the surprise. The surgeon was able to harvest the tumor in its entirety and the subsequent post-operative MRI with contrast did not show any signs of cancerous "leftover's. Even the doctor's where surprised.

Naturally, they can't take a chance and have developed a protocol of treatment, which will ensure that the tumor will not have a chance to return. I am enrolled into the Duke's National Tumor research program. A treatment plan has been established for me in Athens; however I will also be travelling after every 8 weeks to Durham for my MRI here and the check-ups. The treatment plan does involve new novel drugs, such as Avastin at $ 15,000, but will also include things such as oral chemo and radiation. I will have 42 day timeline to travel and plenty monthly check-ups.

I will need your continued support and I do need to get back into an exercise regimen!

Earlier, when Hillary contacted me, she literally exhausted her cell phone and her battery supply, neither of us wanted to stop the conversation and we were able to shed tears of joy with each other for the first time! Oh, what a wonderful gift! We both, had left the door open, that the news could be terminal!

I had shared with one of the attending doctor's that I was receiving this fantastic support from my blog and he only nodded. I wonder if he really understood the full extent of your loving support and all the nuances!

I have felt reborn all day long or at least enlightened!

Ready, to march into my new future, victoriously!

Love, me
 
The cute weebly folks must have guessed that this blog is my lifeline, they auto-charged my account during the night and I am glad that it worked. Can't lose the thread now!
 
When my daughters and friends suggested that I continue my blog at the start of my diagnosis, I wasn't too sure I wanted to do it. Who wants to hear the lamentation of a struggling soul in their daily lives. Well , I am here to tell you, I have changed my tune.

This blog has become my own holy grail of sorts. Each entry has been carefully included. Each of your comment sealed into my heart. Your comments have lifted my spirits and allowed me to face the next steps. The daily encouragements have been like Manna from heaven for me. II have shed tears unabashedly over the time you have given me with your words. Imagine taking out the time and letting me know that you are with me in this fight. I am the luckiest guy alive. Life is good, indeed
Today we will meet with the oncology staff here at Duke. The purpose will be to define a protocol regarding my post operative treatment options. Obviously, eradicating any remnants of harmful cancer cells is paramount, however I am also highly vigilant to protect my weakened kidneys. It does not help me to be successful in rooting out the brain cancer and run roughshod over the kidneys, right?
To that extent, let us rejoice and celebrate my kidneys. They had to endure a lot the past couple of weeks and were astonishing. The steroids have been very strong and causes all kind of havoc, including in my dialysis regimen. MRI's and contrasts do not extend the lifetime of kidneys, yet here they just kept up their daily task, despite being placed on high blood pressure. The ICU ward was blown away at this observation.

I also received a late e-mail from Dr. Chapman at Emory. She had guided my kidney protection program for the 20 years and made herself available in the search for the best possible treatment option. Imagine that! Now I can bank on her and years worth of research and her professional network as well, including the Emory cancer facility.
Will this be enough?

Obviously, nobody knows at this time!

However, I want to beat it!

I have received personal committments from my daughters and you, that says "stay strong" and we are prepared to fight with you side by side. What greater gift is there ?

Oh dear, had a feeling the last shred of selfdoubt would fall today. I have not held back! I am looking ahead at my immediate future with the utmost confidence.

Once again, thank you for being here in behalf of myself
 
The word of the day is Mawkishness!
I have not checked Wikipidia or Webster' for their latest meaning; however to me the word could describe a multitude of emotions. On the emotional roller coaster I am currently on, I am being torn with waves of emotions. Obviously, the maximium doses of steroids my prescription calls for is one of the culprits; however the intensity of released emotions sometimes make me think I have become a dish rag. Yet, there is relief as I can detail these happenings in this blog

Thank you for the comments regarding my post to Gerta. It was an incredible relief on my part and had been long overdue. Hillary and Hilde I loved your entries.

Today, these loving folks around me, consisting of Carol and our good friends Katsibas will try to find me an appropriate skull cap, lest, it will it not let cold air into my noggin actvity my noggin when they take me to lunch or the park. later.
Speaking of friends, both Mary and Panos Katsibas just dropped everything and checked themselves into our motel providing us with their wonderful support. How lucky can I be!

Have a great day and don't be mawkish, but don't be afraid to show emotions, either. Be bold!
 
I am dedicating today's entire blog post on my part to Gerta. The name is a typical abbreviation of Gertrude; however for me it always had a special ring to it as she has been my life long inspiration. She was cheated out of her youth, by the European war upheavals following WW1 and WW2.

She was born into a wonderful Ungarian family on my mother's side in 1932, just to be ripped out of this environment cruelly and placed in a totally different culture. From an upscale city scape into a rural setting. The language barrier alone made her stand in the middle of the path and yell out in frustration

Her party with friends and family is being held today. I wish, I could be there and snatch a hug from her.

As a 14 year old, Gerta became my proxy mom. When my family was forced to become refugees, we could basically just take what we could carry, then we were told to walk to the next town and hopefully there would be a freight train waiting. We would set off and this little two year would try to keep up as best as he could. Then there would be the message to turn around and go back...remember there was war activity going on. In one of the churches, they discovered corpses and that must have been a scare. She would stop for me, hug me and just urge me on the best she could. I think I still feel these hugs until today. During some of my personal reflection, recently, although I would do certain things differently, overall I am pretty proud of what became of this little refugee boy of 69 years ago

My sister has been my soulmate in many ways to me; not to take away anything from my other siblings and Lis, I love my entire family. It is just these special memories and the common good times we had together, the inclusion of my family, the reaching out to Carol, my wife, in short the fully caring person that she is.
Gerta, today is your Party and I salute you from afar; however I have you very close to my heart.

Enjoy your garden, enjoy your day, enjoy your gifts , enjoy your family and especially enjoy your next stay in Michelrieth! I am so jealous! Rejoice, everyone, Gerta is the queen of day!

 
Who stood in line today?

Shop 'til you drop, anyone?

Had another great night...getting stronger and steadier...had to say goodbye to daughter Hillary. She was phenomenal with her presence. How much we needed her! Chris, thank you for sharing her with us.